Pondering the WoW side of life

For a while now I've been debating to purchase World of Warcraft.  During college I knew I couldn't play it.  I've heard the horror stories when people went that route.  Besides, I think I know my own limits.  I played Call of Duty a ton, but I still managed to graduate with honors — so, you can game and be successful.

Since I've graduated college I've been looking for a job for several months and gaming often has came back into the picture.  I guess I just feel like I am accomplishing something when I play video games, but in reality I am not really accomplishing anything tangible.  There are many other things I could be doing, such as actually updating my blogs.  Lately, I've been trying to find ways to get paid for writing I do.  I did find a few avenues for that, so updating blogs almost seemed like a waste of time.

Now the real question seems to be whether I should finally allow myself to play WoW.  I always try to weigh the pros and cons of situations.  The biggest con seems to be my girlfriend would probably be extremely pissed at me.  For the most part, that has kept me from thinking about it.  Also, the reccuring monthly fee isn't something I am crazy about either.  I am spoiled cause I play PS3 online for free while other people pay fees for Xbox, but that is a whole different debate.

Do I really take the jump?  The desire to play WoW seems to be more of an impulsive thing for me.  After a little while I don't care as much anymore to play the game.  I don't think I have ever really been addicted to a game or gaming either.  If I was addicted to gaming then how did I graduate college?  I think that would have been impossible.

Yes, I play video games more than I might like to admit, but does anything really negative come out of it?  I'm sure there is probably something, but nothing overly drastic yet.  I just find it to be a very relaxing and stimulating hobby.  I guess that is why it has overtaken many of my other hobbies.  I have an addictive personality at times, so that is why I should have never started smoking.

Well, I don't really want to play WoW anymore, now that I took the time to write all this.  I guess I should play the games I have for PS3 first, because I still have games that are unopened.  Sometimes I just can't pass up a good deal, because there is always some time in the future I am sure I can fit it in.

Actually, I think a part of me still wants to play it.

Losing the Pen

This year I have wrote very little poems thus far. Considering it just became the sixth month and I don't even have six poems yet, I am rather disappointed. I'm not really sure what the reasoning is for this, but I really need to buckle down sometime soon and get writing. Although, I usually just write when the urge comes to me and that has been the problem.

My creative juices seem to have been somewhat drained recently. I'm not totally sure why, but I do have a few ideas. Maybe I just don't have the same passion for poetry? Well, I feel like I do, but maybe I just don't want to admit my decline is intentional. Well, to some degree at least. All I want to do is write something, yet I never sit in front of that screen and start pounding the keys into my broken prose.

Lately I have seem to fit other hobbies into my lifestyle. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare has begun to play an enormous role in my life. Well, it has been for a while now. I never really saw myself as the "gamer" type, but apparently I have become one to some degree. What drives me to want to play it so addictively I am not too sure of. I guess it is the feeling that I am doing something that has tangible results, but in reality it doesn't. That is the magic of video games. To create a reality where you can be whomever and whatever you want. Life might suck, but at least you have an 'escape'. I guess that is still a better escape than going down various other routes that lead to needles and whore houses. We all need to escape sometimes.

With me, I used to escape through my writing. I realize that now. It is one of those things people say it is (you know, all those English teachers toting books over fast-paced movies and internet porn), but you don't really know what it is till you stop doing it. The question is now, so how do I continue my current paths of escapism?