The Loss of a Loved One

When my grandfather on my Dad's side passed away it was truly tough, because I had never dealt with the loss of someone I was close to before. That was less than two years ago now. It seems like yesterday in some ways. Now, my grandmother on my Dad's side has passed away. It all seemed to happen very fast.

My Mother's parents passed away before I was ever born, so I never met them. Now, both of my Dad's parents have passed away, so now I have no living grandparents. That is a really weird feeling. I didn't really expect it to happen this soon. They both passed away while I was at New Paltz, even though now I am in Albany doing my internship currently. Both of them were so proud of me for going to college and getting as far as I have gotten. I wish they both could have seen me graduate, because they have truly been a big inspiration for me. I would always think of them when the going got tough. I got strength through them. I don't think that is going to change either.

I'm not really sure where I was going with this entry. I just felt like something needed to be said. It doesn't seem to get that much easier to deal with even though I have went through it once before. It took me a little while to go through the motions last time, but I feel like I am mentally dealing with it a little sooner this time. It just didn't seem real when it happened last time. This time I saw my grandmother in the hospital hours before she passed away.

I'm glad she opened her eyes and saw me before I left. I don't think I will ever forget that moment. There was just something powerful shared between us without her even saying anything. Now it is just how I move on from this loss, but I will have to figure that out as I go along.

Getting Thrown Into the Deep End

The first week of my journalism internship is over and the second week is going to start tomorrow. It was a rather sticky and unusual first week. No orientation — no introduction. Just start typing and get going on some stories. Made for an interesting first week.

I never thought on my first day I would be calling up Assemblymen and starting to type out a story, but it was rather interesting. Later I found out the desk I choose that day would be mine for the rest of the semester. That is okay I guess, because I do like where I am sitting, although, I feel it slightly isolates me from the editors. Random how where you sit really affects your daily work life. I get selected, well, never, to do any stories that arise. I have to go to my editors and ask for more work. I think that will change soon, but maybe not? Maybe it doesn't have to do with where I am sitting either?

The cafeteria in the concourse, though, has pretty damn good food. I've said it is even the best meal I eat all day. Might be a little more costly, but I think it is worth it. Guess I just got to see how my expenses start to sort out as time goes on. On a side note, I wouldn't mind getting HDTV too. I think it is only like $10 more a month — but I digress. So far I am still trying to not have that much caffeine, so that is hard at times. I just have to make sure I get enough sleep every night and I am usually pretty good. Still got my cigarettes.

I already know one story I am going to be working on next week and I am really excited about it. So far, I haven't seen any other news source covering the story I am working on. Should be pretty cool if it stays that way and I get my story out first. I wouldn't be surprised if other news sources then followed me.

I hope your summer was good everyone, but now it is time to get back to work.

In Order to Express

I know why
I write —
my tears need
someplace to fall.

My love
doesn’t look pretty
typed out.

You don’t want
to hear me love —
it wouldn’t hold
your interest.

My pain
bleeds vivacious beauty
typed out.

The moment
for words
is during nothingness.

I need words
when everything fails
to help me cope.

I’ll take a sip
and then write
some more misery.

It needs to get out.

Sand on State Street?

Here is a quick but late update I meant to post a little while ago. Well, at least I should have posted it. I did tweet it on my twitter account. It is amazing what you can do with "phones" these days.


This was the same night and event that I talked about in the previous post where I uploaded the fireworks video. I'm still not sure what the event was called.


Teaser: I will write about the amazing apartment I am going to rent in Albany with Dylan. I really need to get some pictures up here so everyone can see it!

First iPhone Video

Well, I get my iPhone 3G S for my birthday at the beginning of July and I have been highly enjoying it. Since it deterred me from playing my PS3 for a while you know it has to be good. I might do another post about the iPhone later, but since I have been lax with updating both my blogs I thought I would share this video with everyone that hadn't already seen it.



Feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel too. I don't have that many videos posted, but I think I might try to update it a little bit from time to time since I can capture things on my iPhone.

I hope everyone has been enjoying their summer!