Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Back In NP

All sort of odd and indifferent feelings have been rushing through me in my return to New Paltz. This is the last year of classes for me, although, I do have another semester after this school year that will pin me into a full-time internship. That isn't something I don't really mind being pinned to.

I guess I don't know what is really different here now. Maybe it is me? Maybe it is my house? Maybe it is my classes? Whatever it is, something just feels different. I suppose it should. I mean, I haven't stopped to write an entry in a while. Maybe things are just starting to slow down now? The commotion of summer is over and I guess I realize that. Right now there is a party in my house, but yet I would rather do school work (and this I suppose). Don't get me wrong, I like to party and get sloppy all over town, but not right now. I'm not sure what it is about me now. I think last year I would have been all over this. Now, I am just very distant.

I think the thought of romantic relationships still troubles me to some degree. I wouldn't mind being close to someone, well, I think I am now, but in different ways I guess. There seems to be paths I will not allow myself to explore for whatever reasons. There are some emotional walls in me that I think could rival the Berlin Wall.

Maybe it is just this book, Amusing Ourselves To Death: Public Discourse In The Age Of Show Business, I started reading for a course? It really is making me think about our society and how our culture is evolving. The presidential election is weighing heavily on my mind too, because I feel it is going to be the biggest reflection on where our society is. I swear, if McCain gets elected then we are a nation of fucking morons (at least a majority), but that is assuming the election does that get stolen as in the previous two. We all know Bush really shouldn't be president right now, besides the obvious reasons, he never really won.

The laughter rings loudest in silence.