Thursday, June 5, 2008

Losing the Pen

This year I have wrote very little poems thus far. Considering it just became the sixth month and I don't even have six poems yet, I am rather disappointed. I'm not really sure what the reasoning is for this, but I really need to buckle down sometime soon and get writing. Although, I usually just write when the urge comes to me and that has been the problem.

My creative juices seem to have been somewhat drained recently. I'm not totally sure why, but I do have a few ideas. Maybe I just don't have the same passion for poetry? Well, I feel like I do, but maybe I just don't want to admit my decline is intentional. Well, to some degree at least. All I want to do is write something, yet I never sit in front of that screen and start pounding the keys into my broken prose.

Lately I have seem to fit other hobbies into my lifestyle. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare has begun to play an enormous role in my life. Well, it has been for a while now. I never really saw myself as the "gamer" type, but apparently I have become one to some degree. What drives me to want to play it so addictively I am not too sure of. I guess it is the feeling that I am doing something that has tangible results, but in reality it doesn't. That is the magic of video games. To create a reality where you can be whomever and whatever you want. Life might suck, but at least you have an 'escape'. I guess that is still a better escape than going down various other routes that lead to needles and whore houses. We all need to escape sometimes.

With me, I used to escape through my writing. I realize that now. It is one of those things people say it is (you know, all those English teachers toting books over fast-paced movies and internet porn), but you don't really know what it is till you stop doing it. The question is now, so how do I continue my current paths of escapism?

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